NFaST

                                           THE  FALL  OF  THE  BASIN    (Memories of Old Newtonians)

                                                       by Michael Oldman 

 

                                                When I was just a little lad,

                                                I often heard my dear old Dad,

                                                Recite a ditty that he knew so well,

                                                In which, somebody's basin fell.

 

                                                Each line he uttered, contained a name,

                                                Of an old Newtonian, with the claim,

                                                That the person mentioned in the rhyme,

                                                Had been present at that crucial time.

 

                                                But of course, we knew this was not so,

                                                It was just a friendly way to show,

                                                That in those happy bygone days,

                                                Neighbours were given rightful praise.

 

                                                So I will now recall that rhyme,

                                                And as is common, with passing time,

                                                It will of course, not be the same,

                                                As I have added, the extra name.

 

                                                To help the flow, and develop the plot,

                                                To cover the gaps, where I forgot.

                                                Even committing the cardinal sin,

                                                Of putting a Saxlingham resident in.

 

                                                Although Saxlingham Thorpe it seems to me,

                                                Was adjoined to Newton, so we'll let it be.

                                                Enough explanation, let's cut to the plot,

                                                Of this ancient Who Did Which, or What?

 

                                                Mrs Mason broke a basin.

                                                'Money' Saul heard it fall.

                                                Mrs White said “Bring a light.”

                                                Mrs Randall brought a candle.

                                                Mrs Goose said “That's no use.”

                                                Mrs Clarke said “It's still too dark.”

                                                Old George Thrower said “We need more power.”

                                                So Mrs Kemp brought a lamp.

                                                Mrs Lewis said “That'll do us.”

                                                The Reverend Long said “What went wrong?”

                                                Said 'Fardo' Fish “She dropped a dish.”

                                                Mrs Raisen said “No! A basin.”

 

                                                Harry Pull said “Was it full?”

                                                'Bally' Crow said “Full of dough.”

                                                Said Mrs Mears “Oh no! Stewed pears.”

                                                'Pretty' Barrett said “Grated carrot.”

 

 

                                                Mrs Hewitt said “How'd she do it?”

                                                Ada Reeve said “She caught her sleeve.”

                                                Said 'Step House' Brown “Then the basin went down.”

                                                Lennie Peck said “It's a total wreck.”

 

                                                Mrs Shearing said “What was she wearing?”

                                                Said Mrs Bright “Her dress was white.”

                                                'Pussy' Lincoln said “No! A pink'un.”

                                                Billy Martin said “Quite a smart'un.”

                                                Ernie Way said “What did she say?”

                                                Said Billy Bird “A naughty word.”

                                                Laura Pells said “It rhymes with bells.”

                                                Said Mrs Green “Oh, how obscene!”

 

                                                Old Baise Brighton said “She's a right'un.”

                                                Said Mr Creamer “A bit of a dreamer.”

                                                Reggie Sparrow said “Her eyes are too narrow.”

                                                Said Mrs Hunt “Trust you to be blunt.”

 

                                                Old Tom Cobb said “Oh dear! What a job.”

                                                Gladys Read said “A problem, indeed.”

                                                Said Audrey Hale “Let's end this tale.”

 

                                                All those people, are long since gone,

                                                But not forgotten, whilst my memory is strong.

                                                This silly little rhyme, it seems to me,

                                                May be their only claim, to immortality.